You’re absolutely not bothering me, I promise :)
Recovering from an ED is a daily struggle and you have to take it day by day. I know it’s so hard. I know sometimes you feel like giving up and going back to your old ways. But you have to remember that you’re strong and you’re going to win this fight. It might take longer than you expect, but you will win. You’ll beat this.
One of the toughest things is to remember to be nice to yourself. You might think that the urge to slip up today came out of nowhere, and maybe it did, but is there a chance it might’ve been triggered by stress? Fighting an ED in and of itself is stressful, and not every day is going to be perfect. Be nice and forgive yourself.
Eat something. Please. You deserve to and you really, really need to. Don’t think so much about what you’ve already decided. That decision was made in the past and you have to put it behind you to focus on the present. That decision wasn’t the right one to make and it sounds to me like you know that very well. That’s a good sign. That shows that your fight is working. You recognize that forbidding yourself from eating isn’t something you should have done and you know what? That’s a big accomplishment, even if it doesn’t seem like it to you.
When you feel like that urge to restrict yourself is coming back, remember all of this. Remember your fight and how amazing it will be when you finally win and kick that ED to the ground. Remember to forgive yourself, move forward, and know that you can do this. Don’t give up. I’m rooting for you.